Having best friends is great. Your twenties would be no fun without having someone to care about your well-being…
Someone who cares about your future: “You have ten minutes to change out of your yoga pants, we’re going out… do you want to die alone?”
…about your health: “Okay so, if we split the chocolate lava cake, it’s not that bad, right?”
…about your career: “Are you still talking to that cute guy in Accounting?”
And in return, you make a promise to do the same. You may never say them aloud (probably because they sound really effing stupid), but below you’ll find a small sampler of the subconscious promises you’ve made to your bestie.
Promise #1: You post it, I like it.
Oh you posted something on social media? Like. Favorite. RT. Done. Am I tagged? Do I think it’s funny? Do I even understand it? Doesn’t matter.
Promise #2: Whether or not I’ve ever met them… If you hate them, I’ll come up with a hundred examples of why they are the worst.
Your co-worker that makes you feel stupid. The bagger at Whole Foods who rolls his eyes every time you forget your cloth bags. Your loser ex-boyfriend. THEY SUCK.
Promise #3: I promise to have vodka in my freezer.
I mean, that’s just pretty standard.
Promise #4: If I’m in the same city, I promise I will pick you up from a disastrous situation… and if it’s really bad, we can make a pit-stop at my freezer (see Promise #3).
Maybe it’s raining, you have no umbrella, and you spent A LOT of time on your hair this morning… or maybe you woke up in an “unfamiliar location” in last night’s outfit. A boring party, an awful date. Give me five minutes.
Promise #5: Professional Text Message Analyst at your service. I’ll even help from long distance, thank God for screenshots.
"How many exclamation points?!" " Was there an emoji, or no?" "Wait, no don’t respond." "Ew why did he say that?"
Promise #6: I will not let you walk out of the house looking like an idiot.
Wedges or sandals, gold or silver, dress or jeans? I got you. And I’m not afraid to say “umm, maybe don’t wear that.” Because it’s better me sayin’ it, than everyone else thinkin’ it.
It took BFFs Amy and Tina over an hour to decide on this matching sparkly gold ensemble. Solid delivery on Promise #6.